Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!!

Let the good times roll!! Today is Fat Tuesday when we traditionally gorge ourselves in celebration of the start of the Lenten season tomorrow. What am I giving up for Lent? ALL SWEETS. This includes candy, cake, cookies, brownies, ice cream, pie, soda, sweet tea, etc. While this would not be difficult for some people, it will be EXTREMELY HARD for me. No, I don't eat cake as a meal (too often), but after I eat...what do I want? Something sweet. Late at night what do I want? Something sweet. In the afternoon when the kids are eating a snack, what do I want? You got it. Something sweet. And yes, people, I know that fruit is sweet and I am allowed to have that. IT IS NOT THE SAME. It is quite obvious to me at this point that I am addicted to sugar. My dear friend, Karen, said that I will only feel bad for about a week and then I will feel glorious! Well, she may not have used the word glorious, but that is how my mind interpreted it. Here's to feeling glorious and keeping the good times rolling during Lent!

It's been almost a year since I started this blog. I've made so many changes in my life since then. I've also gone through changes that weren't by choice. Learning to accept life on life's terms can be hard...and sometimes not fun. But you know what? I'm getting better. I had the pleasure of hearing a sermon on this topic given by Bishop James King. When someone asks you how you are, what do you normally say? "Fine". I can't tell you how many times I've told someone that I am "fine" and have really wanted to break down and cry my eyes out. Since then I have consciously tried NOT to use the word "fine". I struggled with what to say instead. Now I know I can honestly say "I'm getting better". There are always days when I feel horrible, but those are not the norm anymore. I AM getting better. I am a better person because of yesterday. I have a stronger relationship with God, my husband, family and friends. I know what boundaries are. Do I have scars? Yes. But my scars are getting better too. Everyday the One who made me heals those scars a little bit more. Each day comes with new mercies. Each day I am offered a little more grace. Not only do I get to experience these things, so do all of the people around me. Me getting better involves me offering more mercy, grace and love with each day.

The Bishop also talked about "faith nerves". He said that when we step out in faith, try and accomplish things and then our attempt results in failure, our "faith nerves" can become damaged. This can cause us to settle or to become afraid to try again. Truly great people learn how to persevere regardless of their circumstances. I would like to say that my "faith nerves" are undamaged, but they are not. But I do know this....they're getting better.

I am so in Love With...

Remember my "New Year's Resolutions"? 1.Do no harm, 2.do good and 3.stay in love with God. How do we stay in love with Him? There have been times in my life when I thought that God chose not to love me because of my sins and the direction my life was going. Like a petulant child, I would put space between us and give Him the silent treatment. Now that I am a more mature Christian (He ain't done with me yet) I know that He loves me no matter what challenges or choices I face in this life. I no longer think that He is punishing me. When Jesus died on the cross, my debt was paid. His grace is sufficient for me.

But how DO we stay in love with Him? John Wesley laid out these ordinances...public worship of God, the Lord's Supper (communion), private and family prayer, searching the Scriptures, Bible study and fasting as being essential to living a faithful life. Trust me, I haven't always done these things. There were a few years when I barely darkened the door of a church. I thought that God didn't care about me, so why bother? But guess who created the space between us? I did. God didn't move and thankfully He is a God of second chances. I've also NEVER read the Bible cover to cover. Sure, I've read the New Testament and parts of the Old Testament, but not from Genesis to Revelation. My church has started "The Bible in 90 Days" Bible study as of this week. It's exciting to me to read it and be able to discuss it with my husband at home and also in a group setting at church. The book of Genesis has enough juicy details to provide a soap opera a few years of material. Who knew? Ninety days from now I hope to be able to blog about the entirety of my experience and be able to tell the blog world that "I HAVE READ THE WHOLE BIBLE"!

Ok, sooooo...go to church, take communion, pray, read and study the Bible and fasting. Fasting? The only fasting I do is yearly at Lent (which is coming up, by the way). I have had a great experience with Lent and it really has helped me to focus more on Him and His presence in my life. I guess the reason that I don't fast more is because I didn't think I needed to. I am wrong. I think that if I practiced the spiritual discipline of fasting more often, I wouldn't think it was okay to make MY own decisions or plans instead of listening and waiting for what He has for me. In other words, fasting could help empty me of me and fill me with Him. I often pray for humility and that people would look at me and see Him shining through. Fasting helps me to focus my thoughts on Him to help me get through the next day, hour or minute of fasting. And relying on Him keeps my faith strong AND my love for Him growing. And THAT's where I want to remain...in love with the One who made me, who gave me life everlasting and whose love is constant all of the time.

"Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually." --Psalm 105:4 


If anyone is interested in following along and reading the Bible with us, you can click on this link for the reading schedule. We would love to have you!
http://cairofumc.org/clientimages/45379/biblein90days.pdf

Fear, Faith and a Mustard Seed

Everybody has something that they are afraid of...heights, clowns, spiders. I am one of those people who is not too fond of heights. I had a very unpleasant experience as a young child stopped on the very top of a ferris wheel with one of my cousins who will remain nameless. To this day, I haven't gotten back on a ferris wheel. I wasn't scared because I was stuck or because the machine was broken or I was falling, I was scared because these things MIGHT happen. Fast forward several decades and the list of fears has grown. Fear of failure, rejection, loss, not being good enough, the future. Fear of change, of letting go of things that are comfortable to me.

What is fear? The Bible says that fear is a lack of faith (Mark 4:40). Do I not have faith? I consider myself a faithful person, wife, friend. I have faith in God. What I lack sometimes is faith in what God can and IS doing for me in my life. When things aren't going like I think they should, I worry. I doubt. I shed tears. I get angry. I get discouraged. Guess what? I am not in control. I like to be, but I'm not. In my quest to live a more disciplined life, I have made a lot of positive changes along the way. I've lost some weight, learned to like exercise, become more organized, but I've realized I haven't let go of all of my fears. Why do I want to lose weight? I want to feel better and be healthy. I want to honor God with the body He has given me. I want to walk into a store and not have to look for an XL. But I also have a shallow desire to be attractive/pretty. I don't want people to tell me I have a pretty face. When I hear that it screams "but she has an ugly body"! After 39 years, I have become comfortable with the way I look now. I have also become comfortable with food as my comforter. Even though I want to lose weight, it scares me sometimes. I am still scared of things that MIGHT happen. How will people perceive me and how will I react to them?  My insides must change for the better along with my outside.

Thinking about faith and fear made me think of a song I learned this fall. I don't know the name of it, but here are the lyrics...."Well there's nothing that I need that He won't provide and there's nothing that I need that He won't supply. Cause I believe, yes I believe. I will say to the mountain move. I will say to the mountain get out of my way. Cause I believe, yes I believe." This song led me to think about Matthew 17:20 which says, "Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." Do you know how big a mustard seed is? I had to squint to see it in the picture at the top of the blog. It is smaller than the BBs and the air rifle pellets that I sweep up off of my floor. It's smaller than legos, squinkies, or any Barbie parts lying around my house. It might be so small that you don't know that it is there. Now I know my mustard seed is there. I'm holding on to that thought throughout this journey. It won't be easy, but it WILL be worth it!

2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self control.

First Do No Harm...

 I wanted to write a bit more about my new resolutions, specifically #1. Do No Harm. This shouldn't be hard....after all, I am a nurse and in my professional life this is also one of the main concepts of care. It is not hard to "do no harm" to people, that is what I am already doing...right? Keep reading.

There I was having dinner with some of my friends and they began talking about someone we all knew. Has this ever happened to you? I KNOW I'm not the only one. It could be a friend, family member, or simply someone in the community that you all know. This person could have even wronged one of you, or ALL of you. They may not pay their bills, tithe to the church, they let their children run wild or they are just really annoyingly perfect. Is it okay to gossip about this person or this situation? You're not doing harm because the person isn't hearing what you are saying, right? WRONG. If I set out to purposefully "Do No Harm" then the climate I live in must change. I cannot "play around with" the facts of the situation to make myself look good. I cannot gossip about the conflict or speak about those involved in a harmful or disparaging manner (Yes, this rule also applies to FaceBook). If people disagree with me and my ideas and I wish to do no harm, I can't belittle them or make them feel less than me. Going further, I must honor them as a child of God. Suddenly, it isn't sounding so easy to "Do No Harm". When I disarm myself, I am able to consider the fact that God loves each of us equally, and that we all have some common ground with each other.

So why don't I all practice this principle in all of my affairs? Because according to Reuben P. Job, it requires me to have a radical trust in God's presence, power, wisdom and guidance and a radical obedience to God's leadership. Do I have these 2 things...no. Do I want these 2 things...YES! It is hard not to let "me" get in the way of HIS plans. Sometimes I think that my way is the best way, the best plan or the best opinion. Whether it is or isn't doesn't matter. How I act and conduct my affairs and treat others is what matters. It is scary to give up my own power and plans for His. The world might see me as weak, inconsequential or unimportant. What is He going to ask me to give up? Something or someone I love? Will He ask too much? It is so easy for me to judge others but overlook my own shortcomings. Why IS that? Listen to this quote from William C. Creasy, "A person who honestly examines his own behavior would never judge other people harshly." Double ouch. I'm ready to get radical...with trusting God, obeying God and following God. I'm ready to really SEE others as Jesus sees them. After all, we are all recipients of lavish, unmerited and unending love and mercy. I'm going to intentionally act like one, will you help me?

 "Be and example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Fitness Friday update...The only category that has really "changed" this week is that I exercised FOUR times last week and am making a conscious effort to eat healthier. Back on the wagon!!

Auld Lang Syne

It's New Year's Eve and tomorrow will be a day of new beginnings. It's a new year and people generally use this to make a new start with any number of things...weight loss, spending more time with family, exercise goals, reading goals, ending bad habits. But what about tonight? I remember growing up and hearing the song "1999" by Prince (or whatever his name is now) and thinking....how AWESOME is it going to be when that happens?!? When the time came it was fun don't get me wrong, but the build up did not lead up to how it "was supposed to be". Isn't that what makes us unhappy the majority of the time? The fact that we have expectations and then real life doesn't meet them? I'm not saying it NEVER happens, but most of  the time (my life anyway) it's a journey with bumps, crossroads, mountain tops and valleys. How we deal with these "changes" has a little something to do with our perspective.

I know most of you have heard the song "Auld Lang Syne" that many people sing on New Year's Eve. I grew up spending most new year's at my grandmother's house with her and my 3 aunts. They would always sing this song and I knew the words, but had no clue what they meant. Literally translated they mean "old long since". Another translation is "times gone by". Basically what this means to me is that I shouldn't forget my past; I should learn from it.When I learn from the past, new growth is possible. I glance back to glean information and understanding from what has occurred, and then I move forward with the understanding that God has a plan for my life and it is a good plan. No. An awesome plan! I don't know all of the answers, but I know the One who has them. It is VERY HARD to trust sometimes. After all, I'm not perfect and never will be this side of Glory. But when I trust in Him and have the right perspective I have HOPE for my future.

I'm going to put my New Year's Resolutions out there.

1. Do No Harm

2. Do Good

3. Stay in Love With God

These are not original. I was first introduced to them when a friend so thoughtfully sent me a copy of a book called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living. I think these principles can be applied to any life and help make the world a better place for us all. These 3 things are SOOO simple you say...I can do these things without trying. Hold on. Slow down. Over the next few weeks I am going to expound on these three resolutions so that you know exactly what my goals are and how to help me be accountable for meeting them. This new year IS a time for new growth, new birth, new attitude, new EVERYTHING! God can make a way where there seems to be no way. He can make water spring forth in the desert. He can turn water into wine, make the blind see, raise the dead. He can bring hope where there was none. See you all in the new year! 

P.S. Fitness Friday will make a come back every other week in the new year. :)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"   2Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Fitness Friday

Yesterday I was thinking...Man! It is already Friday again and I didn't write a blog last Friday. I think I will wait until tomorrow since it is late (like 10:30pm). Went to sleep peacefully...woke up at 2:45am and noticed message on phone..."No blog today? I was looking for it." Sometimes it can really suck to have accountability in your life...sigh. I really am self motivated to do a lot of things. However, there is one thing that keeps me in line like nothing else...knowing that other people are holding me to my "goal". I'm not talking about someone who will literally slap a piece of cake out of your hand as you try and eat it (this HAS actually happened to me)or make you spit out a peppermint after you vowed not to eat sugar for a time (yes, this too). I am talking about people who you know without a doubt love you unconditionally and call you out on your bull malarkey (Lord, I hope this is spelled correctly). A biblical story that comes to mind is David and Bathsheeba. If you don't know this story, here is the Cliff Notes version... David is a king. David sees Bathsheeba and he lusts for her. She is married to someone else. David knows this. He sleeps with her anyway. He takes it a step further and sends her husband into the front lines of a battle to be killed. Uriah is killed in battle and David and Bathsheeba live happily ever after, right? WRONG! David indeed suffers for his transgressions, but at first he thinks he is going to get away with this indiscretion. Enter Nathan the prophet into the situation. Nathan is going to call a brother out! He is going to hold David accountable! Do you have a "Nathan" in your life? If you are interested in reading the entire account of this story you can find it in 2 Samuel chapter 11 and 12. My point is...I NEED you people who truly love me and want to see me succeed to HELP me. I can't do it without you. God doesn't want us to travel this way alone.

H is for HIM: Prayer time...copious and regular. Scripture reading...check. Joy in my salvation...check. Score 9/10

E is for Exercise and Eating Right: Can we do a HEART check as a "HART check" this week? I have not exercised ONE time this past week unless you count cleaning house or walking my sister's dogs, which I don't. I have also taken down multiple containers of Nutella, drank regular coke, eaten doritos, etc. You might have a problem when your five year old asks you why you bought the small jar of Nutella this time! (Because it was the only one the store had!!)The fitness train is off of the tracks and headed into dangerous territory! HELP! Score 0/10

A is for All About Family: Loving being at home with my kids during the holiday season! We have made (yes, MADE) crafts, cookies and gifts for people we love this year, watched holiday movies and seen some beautiful Christmas lights. It has been so nice! Last year I don't remember doing any of these things. Score 8/10

R is for Reaching Out to Others: Along with spending more time with my family, I've had the opportunity to reach out to others more this past week. I truly enjoy doing things for other people. I need to focus more on people who might be a little harder to love than others. 7/10

T is for Transparency and Truthfulness: Sinner...check. Saved by grace...check. Gonna live my life and love like I mean it...check. 9/10 (there is always room for improvement)

God truly wants us to have meaningful relationships with each other full of agape love. This week has been a hard one for me emotionally and there have been moments that I have felt alone, unappreciated and unloved. I have a Facebook friend that is always posting about how God always comes through for her family financially. I am always rolling my eyes (I swear it's involuntary) when her post is about some miraculous check that has shown up in her mailbox. I wonder why said check doesn't show up in my mailbox?!? Hellooo God...have you ever heard of Publisher's Clearing House?? Seriously, God has provided abundantly for myself and my family and I sincerely trust that He will continue to do so. This week, I received a Christmas card from a sweet friend. When I opened it up, something fell out. I read her heartfelt words and at that moment I realized that God had not forgotten about Kelly Bass in Cairo, Ga... I wept tears of joy and thankfulness that this friend had acted on the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me. I sought confirmation from Him and I got it. He uses His people to serve each other and to bring messages of joy and hope to each other. I am so glad that my friend chose to answer His call. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her love, her willingness and her gift to me.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Hate the sin...not the sinner?

     This week I read a blog titled “I’m a Christian…unless you’re gay” and I started thinking about how, when and why Christians (and more importantly ME) show love to others. Have you ever felt judged by others? Now, I know we all judge people, it is human nature and part of our fleshly make up….but does it have to be that way? People are judged for the color of their skin, the way they talk, the way they dress, their sexual orientation, their weight, their income….see what I mean? Society labels us…fat, poor, addict, ugly, worthless, trashy, rich, slutty, stuck up. Some of these things we can change and some of these things we cannot. I have learned that if someone looks or acts different, they are not better or worse than me or anybody else…they are just different. That person is God’s creation…just like I am. He loves each of us because we are His.

     Most of us know that Jesus outlined the 2 most important commandments to all who follow Him. The first is to love God with all of your heart, mind and soul. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Who are my neighbors? They are illegal immigrants, homosexuals, unmarried mothers with 3 kids by 3 different fathers, alcoholics….or the person sitting next to you in church that would “NEVER” do anything wrong.  Some of these people are not necessarily easy to love. Trust me…I know. But I also know that I am not easy to love either. I am flesh. Human. Sinful.

     Now, what about the phrase…”Hate the sin, love the sinner”? I think that this phrase is often used as a cover up for bigotry. People use it as an excuse to not have to love those people who are different from them. Is it Biblical? Well, we already covered what Jesus wants us to do. The Bible also tells us to flee from sin. Who’s sin are we fleeing from? I think that He wants us to flee from OUR sin. To hate OUR sin. In Romans 12:9 the author tells us to “Hate what is wrong”. There is that “hate” word again. But, let’s look at the first part of that verse…”Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.” (New Living Translation) I am not a theologian and certainly do not profess to know a lot about the Bible. But what I do know is that if I spend my time hating MY OWN sin, I won’t have much time to hate, judge or look down on other people.

     Genuine love requires concentration and effort. It isn’t easy, but I have found that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. For me to show Biblical love requires me to look at myself…to uncover my sin…to confess it and ask for forgiveness that is undeserved. Am I worth it? He thinks so. Is the homeless alcoholic ex-con worth it? He thinks so.

 If you are interested in reading the blog post in the first paragraph, go to danoah.org.