Sunday, March 27, 2011

Because you never know....CHECK!

My quest to live a more disciplined life has begun in earnest. I have added a prayer and devotion time....check. I have added exercise....check. I am eating healthier....check. I have created a family calendar and posted it on the wall....check. What is next? The options are endless. Laundry. Toys. Shoes. Rooms. Schedules. Meal planning. Consistent discipline. Boundaries. So, being one to know my limitations, I decided to start out by cleaning out my car(s). They are small and contained spaces that will not overwhelm me and cause me to hyperventilate. This certain day I decided to make a LIST so I could check the things off that I had decided to accomplish. I am one of "those" people who do not make lists. I tell myself that I can keep a running list in my mind and not forget. I do not take a list to the grocery store or any other store. I am that person you see going up and down every aisle roaming and looking for items that I think I might need or want. I definitely do not coupon AT ALL! It's not that I don't need to coupon, trust me, I do. I just find that it requires too much organization. I am a firstborn...isn't this skill supposed to be innate for me? Back to THE LIST. It had everything on it from "breakfast" to "get your oil changed". I didn't leave anything out. I stayed on task, I worked toward my goals and I accomplished everything on my list! I had check marks by each completed task and I was feeling good about myself. Proud. Accomplished. I was ready to take my youngest (AC) to gymnastics and then come home and cook a healthy dinner for the family. My middle child (CR) was with me and the oldest (WC) was on a field trip. So, off we went (in our clean car) and my plan was to drop off AC and have my husband pick her up while I continued on my day of productivity by going home and starting on dinner. Of course, I talked for a few minutes to the other moms and was about to leave when a teacher came running out and said she thought AC had broken her arm! I am a nurse, so my first thought was "These people do not know what they are talking about and obviously they are over reacting". I proceeded to the back room where they were tumbling and there was AC and her teacher with her forearm bent at what I can only say was a very unnatural angle. Broken....check. I immediately went into crisis mode (one of my specialties) and started giving orders. We got to our car, I called my hubby and we were on our way to Tallahassee. I called our pediatrician who was on board with my plan. My brave and beautiful girl did not cry the whole way. We got to the ER around 6pm and were on our way home by 10pm with a reset radius and ulna in a cast. She did have to get an IV and that is when she shed her one tear. I cannot even explain in words how out-of-control and stressful this situation was for me. Especially after my organized, well-controlled, disciplined day with a check list. THIS WAS NOT ON THE LIST!! To top it all off, I had not eaten in about 6 hours and every person in the ER seemed to be drinking some type of coke product. I felt weak, beaten down, powerless. Then I remembered the devotion AC and I had read that very morning. The verse was Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. The devotion went on to say that sometimes you have to let go of something in your life and it specifically mentioned the desire to be in charge of your life. Letting go means trusting God. God doesn't get distracted or sick, and He won't let you down - ever. It was obvious that AC was trusting Him to take care of her, she is only 5 and she was calm almost the whole time. I know He wants me to be more disciplined, but that doesn't mean that there won't be curve balls thrown my way sometimes. He knows best and He is in charge of me yesterday, today and forever...CHECK!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Farewell Girl Scout Cookies...Hello Bathing Suit Season!

Well, it's happened to me too. Blog fever...I've caught it. I figure since everyone else seems to have a blog, I'll write one too. This way, it can kind of count for writing in my journal without all of the soul baring thoughts I write in there and instead contain the witty reparte I write in here for you all to enjoy, right? Even if only my husband and BFFs read it (y'all better) I will feel fulfilled and validated. Why am I saying goodbye to the Girl Scout Cookies (GSC)? In South Georgia, this time of year is made up of days spent outside in the sun, working on your tan, watching the kids swim in the freezing pool, going to the beach, etc. In other words, you will be wearing a bathing suit. I have already started on what I told my husband was "The Call to Lead a Disciplined Life". He immediately wanted to know what book I had been reading or who I had been talking to. Why doesn't he think I can come up with this on my own? (If you know me, this is where you fall out laughing) Actually, I did read a chapter in a book by Angela Thomas called Do You Know Who I Am? about being undisciplined and then had a conversation with my pastor about my desire to change certain areas of my life. Anyway, since Ash Wednesday I have not had a soft drink AT ALL. I love COKE. I love everything about coke. What's not to love...except for the sugar, caffeine, and oh yeah, the calories! I have also been excercising and eating better. I had thought that all of the GSC were gone from the premises until today. I had gotten up, had my morning prayer and devotion time, cooked and eaten my healthy breakfast, worked out and then, for some reason, my eye was drawn to the top of my kitchen shelves. There, sitting as pretty as you please, was a lone box of Tagalongs. Unopened. Pristine. Calling to me. I am only human. I seriously thought about opening them and eating the entire box right then and there. Nobody would know but me! (and God) But that is the problem! I am tired of feeling guilt over doing something I KNOW I shouldn't be doing! Hello! I know there are going to be times when I am going to fall down, disappoint myself and eat the cookies, but that's okay. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I have definitely used this promise many times in my life. But, this time, I FEEL different. I feel the Holy Spirit leading me to live this way, to become more disciplined in all areas, not just my diet and exercise. Believe me, there is NO WAY Kelly Bass can do it without Him! So, the cookies are still up there and I still haven't put on a bathing suit this Spring. To be continued...