Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What are you full of?

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” C.S. Lewis

I love this quote. This earthly life is temporary. But while we are here, we are made to want..to seek. But what are we seeking? Ultimately we all are seeking to be loved...and to be loved unconditionally by the One who made us. Agape love, selfless and spiritual...the kind of love demonstrated through Jesus and His life. It expects nothing in return. 

My dilemma is this...how do I keep myself from getting filled with all of the stuff of the world? The stuff that my flesh wants me to be filled with? Or even stuff of the world that I don't necessarily want, but let get inside me anyway? I hear gossip about a friend....stuff it down...my husband makes me mad...stuff it down...disappointed by family...stuff it down...hear a comment that someone doesn't like me...stuff it down. It doesn't take long to be filled with this junk! Now what? Once filled with this stuff I now feel...empty. Like there is a huge hole inside me. My favorite thing to fill it with has been food. Food not your thing? Maybe it is alcohol, anger, sex, exercise, drugs, work, ambition or shopping. The problem with putting something else on top of the junk means that the junk doesn't leave. The junk remains. Now how can we be filled with Him? With love? Is there room?

At one point in my life, I was so full of junk that I didn't think I would ever get it out. But guess what? I did get rid of a lot of it and so can you. In order for me to do this, I had to talk about it. I had to trust someone. Over time, I had to trust more than one someone. I had to make myself vulnerable and I hate that. But you know what? What I WAS doing definitely wasn't working for me. I found people, accountability partners, that were willing to listen to me talk about anything I wanted and still love me. Are these people perfect? No. Do I still get hurt? Of course. But the benefits are so awesome. The junk moves out and makes it easier for Him to move in. And when He moves in...WOW. With His love in me I can love others so much easier. I can love myself more freely. I wish I could tell you that this is how I am all of the time, but I am made of flesh. What I can tell you is that being self aware and knowing what I am full of has made it easier for me to be filled with His love. I am better than I used to be. And THAT is a great place to be right now. 

What are YOU full of?

"Empty me of the selfishness inside, every vain ambition and the poison of my pride....and any foolish thing my heart holds to. Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You." --Empty Me by Chris Sligh