You Should Be Here

It's been a little over two years since my last blog post. Putting yourself "out there" is scary. Writing for me is cathartic and sometimes I just really don't want to process what I am feeling that deeply when I am going through a difficult season in my life. On this day three years ago, my life was pretty good. I had just turned 40 the previous August and had just started a new job that I was enjoying and adjusting to having every Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. As a nurse, I had never had the opportunity to spend every weekend and holiday with my family. On top of that, I had just returned from my first cruise to the Bahamas with some great friends. My mama had been given a cancer free card from the gynecological oncologist that I took her to see in December. No cancer!! He recommended that she follow up with her primary who would refer her to a cardiologist, and that appointment was set up for the middle of February. I went to bed on the night of Jan 31st, 2013 relaxed from my cruise and with a knowledge that my family was intact and I had the next day off because it was a Friday. 

          It was a normal Friday...taking my three kids to school, catching up on housework and running errands. I got a call from my dad around 2:30 pm and he said that mama had fallen down for no apparent reason, but he was able to get her up and she was tired and short of breath but otherwise fine. As a nurse and since I lived 90 minutes away, I recommended that he take her to the ER or call the ambulance. He said she was sitting in her chair near the TV and he had to go pick up my two nieces from school. His plan was to check her when he got back and then take her if she needed to go at that point. I didn't feel right about what he had told me so I called the ambulance from my cell phone and had them go out to the house to assess her. I then picked my kids up from school and took them to Walmart to pick up a few more things. My sister called me on my cell phone in the middle of Walmart and was crying and said "Mama just died". At that point my brain went into survival mode. I couldn't even comprehend what she was telling me. I had 3 children ages 12, 9 and 7 with me AND I was in a huge public store. I have no idea how I got checked out and home without breaking down, but I knew I had to hold it together for my kids. I called my dad and he confirmed that yes, when he returned home he was unable to wake her up and the EMT's got there seconds after he did and could not revive her. MY MOTHER WAS DEAD. February 1st, 2013 was the last day she was alive on this earth. I was 40 years old.

My mama was the most influential person in my life. She and I were very close. She was the person I wanted to talk to when I was sick, hurting, depressed, happy, excited, or just needed someone to talk to. She was the first person I wanted to call when I had news to share. She was the kind of mom that told us made up stories at night before bed, that took us to the swimming pool at the country club every day during the summer and that cooked countless meals for our neighborhood friends. Our house was the "fun" house and my friends and I were there constantly. My mother had a deep and genuine love for ALL children that even I don't understand. She taught school for over 40 years before finally retiring and she never met a child that she couldn't see the good in. She played the piano at our church every Sunday and taught the elementary school age Sunday school class. She did these things because she loved to do them. Even growing up around her I recognized that her level of love and patience for and with children was not normal. She had a love for Jesus and was always helping others. It didn't matter if she had the resources to help or not, she was going to find a way.

On 2/1/13 I became a motherless child. At her funeral, there was a little boy about 10 years old who lived next door that my mama had kind of taken under her wing and loved on. He got dressed up and came to my parent's house the morning of her funeral to ride with our family. Just him by himself..not his parents. I realized then that it wasn't only my children who had lost their "YaYa". Countless other children who she had loved on over the years as well as right now had lost her too. I recognize that I am extremely blessed to have had the mama God gave me. I just always imagined that she would be here a little bit longer and get to watch her grandchildren grow up. The hardest part was adjusting to a new way of living. I had never "done life" without a mother before. I felt like my anchor was gone. I was floating without the one person who had always helped keep me tethered and balanced. I cried and cried and cried until the point that I just didn't have any more tears. And then I cried some more. I cried on the way to work. I cried on the way home from work. I cried at night when everyone else was asleep. I was angry. I was envious. I looked around me and saw people older than me who still had their mother here with them. I had saved voice mails from my mom that I listened to every day. I blamed myself. Why didn't I call EMS right away and tell them it was an emergency? Why didn't I ask to talk to her? Why didn't I tell her to make her doctor's appointment earlier? Why didn't I call her more often? Spend more time with her? Tell her how much I loved her the last time I talked to her? Why? Months went by and my grief didn't change. Time heals all wounds? There were days that I thought this grief would rip me in two. As more time has passed, the good days far outweigh the bad. My sister, my kids and I talk about her all of the time and share good memories and funny stories. I have finally adjusted to living without a mother on this side of Heaven. When I have sad moments now, it's usually because I want someone to listen to me like she used to or because one of my children have done something awesome and I know how proud she would be. The grief that used to consume me like a tsunami now feels like gentle waves at the shoreline on a calm day. The grief can still bring tears, but I rediscovered who my true anchor always was. My mama taught me about God's love when I was just a little girl. Although I have chosen to push God away at times during my adult life, He is always who I return to for guidance, love and affirmation. He has never left me and He will never leave me. I thank God for my mama. I thank my mama for showing me who my real anchor is and teaching me about Jesus and His love for ALL of us...even me.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19

"It's one of those moments, that's got your name written all over it. And you should know that if I had just one wish it'd be that you didn't have to miss this. You should be here." --Cole Swindell

A few pictures of things I wish you hadn't had to miss.

 Caroline's lyrical piece at dance competition this past year. 

 Ava's 9th birthday party at the skating rink.

Cooper learning how to drive and getting his learner's license.

Dear God...It's me, Kelly

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in ages! This girl is still getting it together and sometimes it is harder than others to find time to do the things we love or even the things we need to do. Sometimes God reveals things to us about ourselves that maybe we don't want to see. I was feeling excited about church this morning, but there was an anxiety below the surface that I couldn't quite put my finger on.  As we walked out of the door, my husband reminded me that today was December 1st and it was time to write our monthly tithe check. Now, I rarely discuss money and I have no idea what other families do, nor do I want to know. I suddenly realized the root of the anxiety. I was afraid to give the full amount I had been giving each month. Fear was gripping my mind, heart, and checkbook. Finances have been tight this year. This is December and Christmas is coming. We have cut our list as much as we can at this point. What are we going to do? We got to church and started singing. I had the check written out and in my purse. Still fearful. Then we sang this verse..."I will not fear. His promise is true. My God will come through always...always".
It was like God knew my fear. Mine... He knows me in my inmost being. He knows that this season of my life has not been easy.

I lost my precious Mama this past February. This was our first Thanksgiving without her. I had to cook the dressing this year. Let's just say that it was not the same. I have pictures of my mama from last year making the dressing in my kitchen. Why, oh why, didn't I make a video? She was here, but she was in the memories this time. My 6 year old niece, Gabby, said, "I miss Yaya because she would always make me paper dolls". This was something she used to do for all of us as small children. Something I had forgotten about. My mama could take any paper and a pair of scissors and make beautiful dolls and clothes. Thank you, Gabby, for the remembered memory. I held on to fear for such a long time after my mama died. Fear that I couldn't go on without her...that my anchor was gone. But God showed me how to give up my fear there, too. He is my anchor. He guides my steps. He gave me an awesome godly earthly mother that loved me. He sent his son to save us from our sins so that we would have eternal life. So why am I still afraid?

I am still afraid because I am human. I still have fears creep into my heart when I least expect it. This flesh is real. But He sees me. He knows my fears and he sends praise bands to sing songs over me to help me with my fears. I sang the words with the congregation. I believed the words in my heart. And just like that...the fear gripping my heart over money was gone. Gone.
I wish it was that easy with all of my fears. But the more I know God, the more fears I have been able to let go of and to overcome. His promises are true. He has always come through for me in every season of my life. He always comes through...always.

Philippians 4:6 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."

Skimming the Surface

As a child, I had 3 aunts and a grandmother that liked to go fishing. I would sometimes go with them and my favorite thing to do was watch the bugs that looked like they were "skating" on top of the pond water. They are called "skimmer bugs" and they are light enough to just skim the surface without going into the actual water. This week I was reading about the relationship that our Heavenly Father wants to have with us as His children. I think that for most of my life, my relationship with God was like those bugs skimming superficially along on the water. I wanted Him at arms length. Sure, I prayed. But most of my prayers were shallow ones....God, please help me on this test (even though I didn't study)....please let this boy love me (even though I don't love myself)...please protect my friends and family (don't have time to get them all in by name or specific need). Who did I think I was kidding by keeping my innermost desires and plans from Him? He KNOWS me. He knows me better than my family, my husband or my best friend. In Psalm 139 it says that "Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely". My Heavenly Father made me and created my inmost being. He knew me in my mother's womb. He is familiar with ALL of my ways. Wait....ALL of my ways?

Growing up, I saw God as punitive. I thought that if I was bad, he wouldn't love me and would punish me,  and if I was good, then He would love me and my life would work out exactly as I wanted it to. I am a people pleaser, so this concept came naturally to me. I tried to follow all of the rules. I attended church weekly, minded my parents, didn't drink or cuss (hard to believe, I know) and made all A's. Know what? I still didn't feel like God loved me, nor did I have a personal connection with Him. I felt like I was always disappointing Him and letting Him down. The missing key was a relationship. A real relationship...one that goes down deep into my inmost being. God wants to hear about my day, the good and the bad. He wants me to talk to Him about hurts, triumphs, dreams, goals, failures...ALL of it. Think about the relationships you have with people. If all you do is talk to them about superficial things, your relationship with them will remain on the surface. All it took for my relationship with God to go deep was a seed that was planted in me by another person. I received a letter that said..."God loves you just the way you are. Nothing you can do will make God love you any more or any less." Whaaaat? I can't earn His love?? I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but seeing this statement in black and white gave me a truth to hold onto. God loves me. He always has, and always will. I am a daughter of the most high God. By holding onto His love and learning to receive love from others, our relationship continues to grow deeper and has taken root in all areas of my life.

Guess what happened as a side effect? I learned that I am not alone! Not only is God with me and for me, but He has some followers that love me too! I mean really love me. I've learned what agape love feels like and looks like. I've learned to let people know the real me and sometimes I am not easy to love. I've learned to form deeper relationships with my friends and family. I've learned that perfection is impossible for me, but He loves me anyway. Once we have our identity in Christ, we can share our story with other people and build relationships that draw people closer to Him. When I truly received His love for me, it changed me. I really am a new creation. I want to tell others about this unconditional love of the Father. I want to show people that they are worthy, accepted and loved. I recently read a book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller. This quote stood out to me..."I think the most important thing that happens in Christian spirituality is when a person falls in love with Jesus". I  have to wholeheartedly agree with a big grin on my face. No more skimming the surface...I'm going deep.

What are you full of?

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” C.S. Lewis


I love this quote. This earthly life is temporary. But while we are here, we are made to want..to seek. But what are we seeking? Ultimately we all are seeking to be loved...and to be loved unconditionally by the One who made us. Agape love, selfless and spiritual...the kind of love demonstrated through Jesus and His life. It expects nothing in return. 


My dilemma is this...how do I keep myself from getting filled with all of the stuff of the world? The stuff that my flesh wants me to be filled with? Or even stuff of the world that I don't necessarily want, but let get inside me anyway? I hear gossip about a friend....stuff it down...my husband makes me mad...stuff it down...disappointed by family...stuff it down...hear a comment that someone doesn't like me...stuff it down. It doesn't take long to be filled with this junk! Now what? Once filled with this stuff I now feel...empty. Like there is a huge hole inside me. My favorite thing to fill it with has been food. Food not your thing? Maybe it is alcohol, anger, sex, exercise, drugs, work, ambition or shopping. The problem with putting something else on top of the junk means that the junk doesn't leave. The junk remains. Now how can we be filled with Him? With love? Is there room?


At one point in my life, I was so full of junk that I didn't think I would ever get it out. But guess what? I did get rid of a lot of it and so can you. In order for me to do this, I had to talk about it. I had to trust someone. Over time, I had to trust more than one someone. I had to make myself vulnerable and I hate that. But you know what? What I WAS doing definitely wasn't working for me. I found people, accountability partners, that were willing to listen to me talk about anything I wanted and still love me. Are these people perfect? No. Do I still get hurt? Of course. But the benefits are so awesome. The junk moves out and makes it easier for Him to move in. And when He moves in...WOW. With His love in me I can love others so much easier. I can love myself more freely. I wish I could tell you that this is how I am all of the time, but I am made of flesh. What I can tell you is that being self aware and knowing what I am full of has made it easier for me to be filled with His love. I am better than I used to be. And THAT is a great place to be right now. 


What are YOU full of?


"Empty me of the selfishness inside, every vain ambition and the poison of my pride....and any foolish thing my heart holds to. Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You." --Empty Me by Chris Sligh 

Sabbath Moments and Pinterest Projects

This post is just for fun. I have been an "at home mom" or CEO of the Bass Family since the end of November. The cartoon at the left is how I have felt in the past about staying at home full time. Don't get me wrong, I may not post every single saying, picture, funny thing, outfit or bowel movement that my children have, but trust me, I love them more than life itself. Being a mother is truly THE most rewarding and hardest job you will ever have. I thought it was hard having one child...then two...finally three. We are outnumbered. They operate in a pack...with a pack mentality. Thankfully, they are all now in school during the day. What have I done with my time? Hello...have you ever heard of pinterest? My sweet friend April introduced me to it and I hit the ground running! I've made my own laundry detergent, fabric softener, cleaning products, made cute Valentine's, numerous recipes and honed my cookie making skills (somewhat). I also made Christmas gifts and a baby shower gift for a friend. Aside from pinterest, I think my name got added to every volunteer list in the state of Georgia, or at list the city of Cairo (I blame Shelley). I've been on field trips and painted faces at Field Day. I've spent my afternoons being a taxi for my kids and my weekends and holidays at home. I've also spent more time reading the Bible, praying, and listening to God's ultimate plan for my life. Being able to have a "Sabbath moment" almost every day has been life changing for me. Even baking and decorating cookies can be a Sabbath moment. It is very therapeutic to clear my mind and focus on something besides myself and my problems. I love to listen to praise and worship music while I work on my various projects. This time has helped me to learn what really is important. What my family's NEEDS are...the real needs, not the wants. Learning that God does and will provide. Even when situations seem hopeless, they are not! I may not have my ipad that I want or be able to take vacations. My kids don't get the newest toy or game right when they want it (been guilty of this in the past) or wear the latest fashion (they could care less, thank goodness!), but as my youngest says.."I have Jesus in my heart and that's the BESTEST THING EVER!!" True that, Ava.....true that. Here are a couple of my finished projects that I thought you might enjoy.

               This one is from a favorite Bible verse, Micah 6:8, it was a grandparent gift for Christmas.

I did this one as a gift for a friend who is naming her baby Faith. :)

                         These are cross cookies I made for Easter.

                          Pink cupcakes for baby Faith's celebration!

                          More Easter cookies!!!

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!!

Let the good times roll!! Today is Fat Tuesday when we traditionally gorge ourselves in celebration of the start of the Lenten season tomorrow. What am I giving up for Lent? ALL SWEETS. This includes candy, cake, cookies, brownies, ice cream, pie, soda, sweet tea, etc. While this would not be difficult for some people, it will be EXTREMELY HARD for me. No, I don't eat cake as a meal (too often), but after I eat...what do I want? Something sweet. Late at night what do I want? Something sweet. In the afternoon when the kids are eating a snack, what do I want? You got it. Something sweet. And yes, people, I know that fruit is sweet and I am allowed to have that. IT IS NOT THE SAME. It is quite obvious to me at this point that I am addicted to sugar. My dear friend, Karen, said that I will only feel bad for about a week and then I will feel glorious! Well, she may not have used the word glorious, but that is how my mind interpreted it. Here's to feeling glorious and keeping the good times rolling during Lent!

It's been almost a year since I started this blog. I've made so many changes in my life since then. I've also gone through changes that weren't by choice. Learning to accept life on life's terms can be hard...and sometimes not fun. But you know what? I'm getting better. I had the pleasure of hearing a sermon on this topic given by Bishop James King. When someone asks you how you are, what do you normally say? "Fine". I can't tell you how many times I've told someone that I am "fine" and have really wanted to break down and cry my eyes out. Since then I have consciously tried NOT to use the word "fine". I struggled with what to say instead. Now I know I can honestly say "I'm getting better". There are always days when I feel horrible, but those are not the norm anymore. I AM getting better. I am a better person because of yesterday. I have a stronger relationship with God, my husband, family and friends. I know what boundaries are. Do I have scars? Yes. But my scars are getting better too. Everyday the One who made me heals those scars a little bit more. Each day comes with new mercies. Each day I am offered a little more grace. Not only do I get to experience these things, so do all of the people around me. Me getting better involves me offering more mercy, grace and love with each day.

The Bishop also talked about "faith nerves". He said that when we step out in faith, try and accomplish things and then our attempt results in failure, our "faith nerves" can become damaged. This can cause us to settle or to become afraid to try again. Truly great people learn how to persevere regardless of their circumstances. I would like to say that my "faith nerves" are undamaged, but they are not. But I do know this....they're getting better.

I am so in Love With...

Remember my "New Year's Resolutions"? 1.Do no harm, 2.do good and 3.stay in love with God. How do we stay in love with Him? There have been times in my life when I thought that God chose not to love me because of my sins and the direction my life was going. Like a petulant child, I would put space between us and give Him the silent treatment. Now that I am a more mature Christian (He ain't done with me yet) I know that He loves me no matter what challenges or choices I face in this life. I no longer think that He is punishing me. When Jesus died on the cross, my debt was paid. His grace is sufficient for me.

But how DO we stay in love with Him? John Wesley laid out these ordinances...public worship of God, the Lord's Supper (communion), private and family prayer, searching the Scriptures, Bible study and fasting as being essential to living a faithful life. Trust me, I haven't always done these things. There were a few years when I barely darkened the door of a church. I thought that God didn't care about me, so why bother? But guess who created the space between us? I did. God didn't move and thankfully He is a God of second chances. I've also NEVER read the Bible cover to cover. Sure, I've read the New Testament and parts of the Old Testament, but not from Genesis to Revelation. My church has started "The Bible in 90 Days" Bible study as of this week. It's exciting to me to read it and be able to discuss it with my husband at home and also in a group setting at church. The book of Genesis has enough juicy details to provide a soap opera a few years of material. Who knew? Ninety days from now I hope to be able to blog about the entirety of my experience and be able to tell the blog world that "I HAVE READ THE WHOLE BIBLE"!

Ok, sooooo...go to church, take communion, pray, read and study the Bible and fasting. Fasting? The only fasting I do is yearly at Lent (which is coming up, by the way). I have had a great experience with Lent and it really has helped me to focus more on Him and His presence in my life. I guess the reason that I don't fast more is because I didn't think I needed to. I am wrong. I think that if I practiced the spiritual discipline of fasting more often, I wouldn't think it was okay to make MY own decisions or plans instead of listening and waiting for what He has for me. In other words, fasting could help empty me of me and fill me with Him. I often pray for humility and that people would look at me and see Him shining through. Fasting helps me to focus my thoughts on Him to help me get through the next day, hour or minute of fasting. And relying on Him keeps my faith strong AND my love for Him growing. And THAT's where I want to remain...in love with the One who made me, who gave me life everlasting and whose love is constant all of the time.

"Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually." --Psalm 105:4 


If anyone is interested in following along and reading the Bible with us, you can click on this link for the reading schedule. We would love to have you!
http://cairofumc.org/clientimages/45379/biblein90days.pdf

Fear, Faith and a Mustard Seed

Everybody has something that they are afraid of...heights, clowns, spiders. I am one of those people who is not too fond of heights. I had a very unpleasant experience as a young child stopped on the very top of a ferris wheel with one of my cousins who will remain nameless. To this day, I haven't gotten back on a ferris wheel. I wasn't scared because I was stuck or because the machine was broken or I was falling, I was scared because these things MIGHT happen. Fast forward several decades and the list of fears has grown. Fear of failure, rejection, loss, not being good enough, the future. Fear of change, of letting go of things that are comfortable to me.

What is fear? The Bible says that fear is a lack of faith (Mark 4:40). Do I not have faith? I consider myself a faithful person, wife, friend. I have faith in God. What I lack sometimes is faith in what God can and IS doing for me in my life. When things aren't going like I think they should, I worry. I doubt. I shed tears. I get angry. I get discouraged. Guess what? I am not in control. I like to be, but I'm not. In my quest to live a more disciplined life, I have made a lot of positive changes along the way. I've lost some weight, learned to like exercise, become more organized, but I've realized I haven't let go of all of my fears. Why do I want to lose weight? I want to feel better and be healthy. I want to honor God with the body He has given me. I want to walk into a store and not have to look for an XL. But I also have a shallow desire to be attractive/pretty. I don't want people to tell me I have a pretty face. When I hear that it screams "but she has an ugly body"! After 39 years, I have become comfortable with the way I look now. I have also become comfortable with food as my comforter. Even though I want to lose weight, it scares me sometimes. I am still scared of things that MIGHT happen. How will people perceive me and how will I react to them?  My insides must change for the better along with my outside.

Thinking about faith and fear made me think of a song I learned this fall. I don't know the name of it, but here are the lyrics...."Well there's nothing that I need that He won't provide and there's nothing that I need that He won't supply. Cause I believe, yes I believe. I will say to the mountain move. I will say to the mountain get out of my way. Cause I believe, yes I believe." This song led me to think about Matthew 17:20 which says, "Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." Do you know how big a mustard seed is? I had to squint to see it in the picture at the top of the blog. It is smaller than the BBs and the air rifle pellets that I sweep up off of my floor. It's smaller than legos, squinkies, or any Barbie parts lying around my house. It might be so small that you don't know that it is there. Now I know my mustard seed is there. I'm holding on to that thought throughout this journey. It won't be easy, but it WILL be worth it!

2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self control.

First Do No Harm...

 I wanted to write a bit more about my new resolutions, specifically #1. Do No Harm. This shouldn't be hard....after all, I am a nurse and in my professional life this is also one of the main concepts of care. It is not hard to "do no harm" to people, that is what I am already doing...right? Keep reading.

There I was having dinner with some of my friends and they began talking about someone we all knew. Has this ever happened to you? I KNOW I'm not the only one. It could be a friend, family member, or simply someone in the community that you all know. This person could have even wronged one of you, or ALL of you. They may not pay their bills, tithe to the church, they let their children run wild or they are just really annoyingly perfect. Is it okay to gossip about this person or this situation? You're not doing harm because the person isn't hearing what you are saying, right? WRONG. If I set out to purposefully "Do No Harm" then the climate I live in must change. I cannot "play around with" the facts of the situation to make myself look good. I cannot gossip about the conflict or speak about those involved in a harmful or disparaging manner (Yes, this rule also applies to FaceBook). If people disagree with me and my ideas and I wish to do no harm, I can't belittle them or make them feel less than me. Going further, I must honor them as a child of God. Suddenly, it isn't sounding so easy to "Do No Harm". When I disarm myself, I am able to consider the fact that God loves each of us equally, and that we all have some common ground with each other.

So why don't I all practice this principle in all of my affairs? Because according to Reuben P. Job, it requires me to have a radical trust in God's presence, power, wisdom and guidance and a radical obedience to God's leadership. Do I have these 2 things...no. Do I want these 2 things...YES! It is hard not to let "me" get in the way of HIS plans. Sometimes I think that my way is the best way, the best plan or the best opinion. Whether it is or isn't doesn't matter. How I act and conduct my affairs and treat others is what matters. It is scary to give up my own power and plans for His. The world might see me as weak, inconsequential or unimportant. What is He going to ask me to give up? Something or someone I love? Will He ask too much? It is so easy for me to judge others but overlook my own shortcomings. Why IS that? Listen to this quote from William C. Creasy, "A person who honestly examines his own behavior would never judge other people harshly." Double ouch. I'm ready to get radical...with trusting God, obeying God and following God. I'm ready to really SEE others as Jesus sees them. After all, we are all recipients of lavish, unmerited and unending love and mercy. I'm going to intentionally act like one, will you help me?

 "Be and example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Fitness Friday update...The only category that has really "changed" this week is that I exercised FOUR times last week and am making a conscious effort to eat healthier. Back on the wagon!!

Auld Lang Syne

It's New Year's Eve and tomorrow will be a day of new beginnings. It's a new year and people generally use this to make a new start with any number of things...weight loss, spending more time with family, exercise goals, reading goals, ending bad habits. But what about tonight? I remember growing up and hearing the song "1999" by Prince (or whatever his name is now) and thinking....how AWESOME is it going to be when that happens?!? When the time came it was fun don't get me wrong, but the build up did not lead up to how it "was supposed to be". Isn't that what makes us unhappy the majority of the time? The fact that we have expectations and then real life doesn't meet them? I'm not saying it NEVER happens, but most of  the time (my life anyway) it's a journey with bumps, crossroads, mountain tops and valleys. How we deal with these "changes" has a little something to do with our perspective.

I know most of you have heard the song "Auld Lang Syne" that many people sing on New Year's Eve. I grew up spending most new year's at my grandmother's house with her and my 3 aunts. They would always sing this song and I knew the words, but had no clue what they meant. Literally translated they mean "old long since". Another translation is "times gone by". Basically what this means to me is that I shouldn't forget my past; I should learn from it.When I learn from the past, new growth is possible. I glance back to glean information and understanding from what has occurred, and then I move forward with the understanding that God has a plan for my life and it is a good plan. No. An awesome plan! I don't know all of the answers, but I know the One who has them. It is VERY HARD to trust sometimes. After all, I'm not perfect and never will be this side of Glory. But when I trust in Him and have the right perspective I have HOPE for my future.

I'm going to put my New Year's Resolutions out there.

1. Do No Harm

2. Do Good

3. Stay in Love With God

These are not original. I was first introduced to them when a friend so thoughtfully sent me a copy of a book called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living. I think these principles can be applied to any life and help make the world a better place for us all. These 3 things are SOOO simple you say...I can do these things without trying. Hold on. Slow down. Over the next few weeks I am going to expound on these three resolutions so that you know exactly what my goals are and how to help me be accountable for meeting them. This new year IS a time for new growth, new birth, new attitude, new EVERYTHING! God can make a way where there seems to be no way. He can make water spring forth in the desert. He can turn water into wine, make the blind see, raise the dead. He can bring hope where there was none. See you all in the new year! 

P.S. Fitness Friday will make a come back every other week in the new year. :)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"   2Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Fitness Friday

Yesterday I was thinking...Man! It is already Friday again and I didn't write a blog last Friday. I think I will wait until tomorrow since it is late (like 10:30pm). Went to sleep peacefully...woke up at 2:45am and noticed message on phone..."No blog today? I was looking for it." Sometimes it can really suck to have accountability in your life...sigh. I really am self motivated to do a lot of things. However, there is one thing that keeps me in line like nothing else...knowing that other people are holding me to my "goal". I'm not talking about someone who will literally slap a piece of cake out of your hand as you try and eat it (this HAS actually happened to me)or make you spit out a peppermint after you vowed not to eat sugar for a time (yes, this too). I am talking about people who you know without a doubt love you unconditionally and call you out on your bull malarkey (Lord, I hope this is spelled correctly). A biblical story that comes to mind is David and Bathsheeba. If you don't know this story, here is the Cliff Notes version... David is a king. David sees Bathsheeba and he lusts for her. She is married to someone else. David knows this. He sleeps with her anyway. He takes it a step further and sends her husband into the front lines of a battle to be killed. Uriah is killed in battle and David and Bathsheeba live happily ever after, right? WRONG! David indeed suffers for his transgressions, but at first he thinks he is going to get away with this indiscretion. Enter Nathan the prophet into the situation. Nathan is going to call a brother out! He is going to hold David accountable! Do you have a "Nathan" in your life? If you are interested in reading the entire account of this story you can find it in 2 Samuel chapter 11 and 12. My point is...I NEED you people who truly love me and want to see me succeed to HELP me. I can't do it without you. God doesn't want us to travel this way alone.

H is for HIM: Prayer time...copious and regular. Scripture reading...check. Joy in my salvation...check. Score 9/10

E is for Exercise and Eating Right: Can we do a HEART check as a "HART check" this week? I have not exercised ONE time this past week unless you count cleaning house or walking my sister's dogs, which I don't. I have also taken down multiple containers of Nutella, drank regular coke, eaten doritos, etc. You might have a problem when your five year old asks you why you bought the small jar of Nutella this time! (Because it was the only one the store had!!)The fitness train is off of the tracks and headed into dangerous territory! HELP! Score 0/10

A is for All About Family: Loving being at home with my kids during the holiday season! We have made (yes, MADE) crafts, cookies and gifts for people we love this year, watched holiday movies and seen some beautiful Christmas lights. It has been so nice! Last year I don't remember doing any of these things. Score 8/10

R is for Reaching Out to Others: Along with spending more time with my family, I've had the opportunity to reach out to others more this past week. I truly enjoy doing things for other people. I need to focus more on people who might be a little harder to love than others. 7/10

T is for Transparency and Truthfulness: Sinner...check. Saved by grace...check. Gonna live my life and love like I mean it...check. 9/10 (there is always room for improvement)

God truly wants us to have meaningful relationships with each other full of agape love. This week has been a hard one for me emotionally and there have been moments that I have felt alone, unappreciated and unloved. I have a Facebook friend that is always posting about how God always comes through for her family financially. I am always rolling my eyes (I swear it's involuntary) when her post is about some miraculous check that has shown up in her mailbox. I wonder why said check doesn't show up in my mailbox?!? Hellooo God...have you ever heard of Publisher's Clearing House?? Seriously, God has provided abundantly for myself and my family and I sincerely trust that He will continue to do so. This week, I received a Christmas card from a sweet friend. When I opened it up, something fell out. I read her heartfelt words and at that moment I realized that God had not forgotten about Kelly Bass in Cairo, Ga... I wept tears of joy and thankfulness that this friend had acted on the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reach out to me. I sought confirmation from Him and I got it. He uses His people to serve each other and to bring messages of joy and hope to each other. I am so glad that my friend chose to answer His call. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her love, her willingness and her gift to me.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Hate the sin...not the sinner?

     This week I read a blog titled “I’m a Christian…unless you’re gay” and I started thinking about how, when and why Christians (and more importantly ME) show love to others. Have you ever felt judged by others? Now, I know we all judge people, it is human nature and part of our fleshly make up….but does it have to be that way? People are judged for the color of their skin, the way they talk, the way they dress, their sexual orientation, their weight, their income….see what I mean? Society labels us…fat, poor, addict, ugly, worthless, trashy, rich, slutty, stuck up. Some of these things we can change and some of these things we cannot. I have learned that if someone looks or acts different, they are not better or worse than me or anybody else…they are just different. That person is God’s creation…just like I am. He loves each of us because we are His.

     Most of us know that Jesus outlined the 2 most important commandments to all who follow Him. The first is to love God with all of your heart, mind and soul. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Who are my neighbors? They are illegal immigrants, homosexuals, unmarried mothers with 3 kids by 3 different fathers, alcoholics….or the person sitting next to you in church that would “NEVER” do anything wrong.  Some of these people are not necessarily easy to love. Trust me…I know. But I also know that I am not easy to love either. I am flesh. Human. Sinful.

     Now, what about the phrase…”Hate the sin, love the sinner”? I think that this phrase is often used as a cover up for bigotry. People use it as an excuse to not have to love those people who are different from them. Is it Biblical? Well, we already covered what Jesus wants us to do. The Bible also tells us to flee from sin. Who’s sin are we fleeing from? I think that He wants us to flee from OUR sin. To hate OUR sin. In Romans 12:9 the author tells us to “Hate what is wrong”. There is that “hate” word again. But, let’s look at the first part of that verse…”Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.” (New Living Translation) I am not a theologian and certainly do not profess to know a lot about the Bible. But what I do know is that if I spend my time hating MY OWN sin, I won’t have much time to hate, judge or look down on other people.

     Genuine love requires concentration and effort. It isn’t easy, but I have found that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. For me to show Biblical love requires me to look at myself…to uncover my sin…to confess it and ask for forgiveness that is undeserved. Am I worth it? He thinks so. Is the homeless alcoholic ex-con worth it? He thinks so.

 If you are interested in reading the blog post in the first paragraph, go to danoah.org.

Fitness Friday

     OK, I know that it is really Saturday, but it has been a busy week for a lot of reasons. Currently, there are six girls running through my house playing "Glow in the dark Hide and Seek". They have made fairy wands, had their faces painted, played dress up, eaten cookie cake, had pedicures and played Dance Party and Karaoke on the Wii. At one point, one of them was rapping to "Ice, Ice Baby" while wearing a green Power Ranger costume, and she actually knew almost all of the words (No, it was not my child)!! I. Am. Exhausted! I will post some party pics at the end of this post. I will say that I had fun in planning and decorating, but now it's time for Fitness Friday!
   
     H is for Him: This week I have felt closer to Him than I have in a while. Circumstances brought me face to face with my lack of control over my life and why I need to rely totally on Him. A sweet friend sent me a Bible verse and I have been meditating on it for days. Here it is..."Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19 It means more to me each day. Giving myself a 9/10 here this week.

E is for Exercise and Eating Right: Boot Camp is over for this cycle, so I'm trying to decide what my next exercise adventure will be. I only exercised once this past week. However, I have been eating A LOT better and have actually seen a drop on the scale for the first time in a while. Score: 6/10

A is for All About the Family: Had some alone time with each of my kids this week - yay! That can be so rare with 3 children vying for your attention. The girls helped with all of the party preparations and cleaning and had fun doing it! Many stories read and kisses upon kisses given this week! Score: 9/10

R is for Reaching Out to Others: This one is probably the most lacking this week. I have been focusing on myself and my family and guess what? Others have been reaching out to me this week and supporting me with texts, emails, phone calls and lunch dates. I'm very thankful to have such awesome friends! Score: 5/10

T is for Transparency and Truthfulness: I am still the same me. A broken, scarred and imperfect sinner who by the grace of God is a treasured, beloved, daughter of the most high God. 'Nuff said. Score: 8/10

     Check out my "Martha Stewart" decorations. The Dollar Tree supplied some and the cute banner I printed from andersruff.blogspot.com for FREE!! I love free. Free is my favorite. I printed it, cut it out and used twine to string the banner together. Bonus....it can be used again!

     I bought "wine glasses" from the Dollar Tree and painted the girls' initials on them. It's hard to see, but I dipped double stuffed Oreo's in pink candy coating and added a sucker stick for "fancy" milk and cookies.

     My father in law bought some face paint for the party girls. I was the only "artist" in residence, but some of them don't look too bad! We had everything from a vampire to a butterfly and I tried my best to make them happy. Score one for my father in law!

     Heaven help me...they are still awake!!

Don't Hide it, Divide it!!

     Have you ever hidden something and then could not find it later? I have done this many times. Sometimes it is a good surprise... like finding the $100 bill that I hid for emergencies. Sometimes it is not so good...like when my daughter "hid" a raw egg in her closet and I "found" it while cleaning. I almost just gagged writing about it! My point is, what good is something while it is hidden? Even though I was supremely happy to discover the money, it did not multiply while it was hidden. Certainly no one benefited from the hidden egg in ANY way. When we play childhood hiding games such as Hide and Seek the joy is in finding the person, not in them staying hidden. When children hunt Easter eggs, they don't leave them behind, they pick them up and keep them.

     I think the same principle can apply to our abilities and our talents that have been given to us by God. Guess what? EVERYONE has a talent, yes...even you...and me. Even some things that I think I am not very good at can be God-given. Take for example, public speaking. CAN I speak in front of a group? Yes. Do I WANT to speak in front of a group? Negative, ghostrider. However, if HE is calling YOU, there is no better person for the job. Why do we hide? The answer is simple for me....FEAR. I let myself doubt. I don't want to mess up...or look stupid. But am I doubting my abilities or His? If I truly feel that He is telling me to do something, be it a small or large task, isn't my doubt really a lack of faith in Him? 

     There have been times that I have stepped out in faith and gone where HE was leading. These times were glorious and I felt really close to Him. Why do I let my flesh get in the way of what I need to do? One of my big issues was (and sometimes still is) praying out loud. I am no stranger to praying.  I pray daily. I used to talk (silently, in my head) to God non-stop. Now I have added listening as well. I think part of it stemmed from the denomination I grew up in. Only men prayed. Even at mealtime, unless a cute young child insisted on doing the blessing, it was given by a man. There was a time in my life that I would do almost anything to escape praying in front of people. Faint, fake a seizure, whatever it took. Then a friend asked me for prayer. For ME to pray. How can you refuse someone that you love and respect that is asking for prayer? So I did it, feeling inadequate the whole time. Guess what? The world did not end, I did not spontaneously combust and the person thanked me for praying for them. I then realized that although you will not find me raising my hand when someone asks for a volunteer to pray (yet), I am okay with where I am now. I will pray when led. I will pray when asked for prayer. I will not keep the gift of prayer that He gave me buried or keep it for myself. 

    So, what are you  hiding? What has He given you that you aren't using to further His Kingdom? He blesses us so that we can bless others. We are to give it away...freely. After all, it isn't ours to keep here on this Earth. I pray that we can all be faithful with what we have been given...whether it is an obvious ability like singing, or a hidden talent that even you didn't know was there. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up". If you see someone stepping out in faith and using their talents or abilities, pray for them, lift them up and give them the support that He would have us give. 

Fitness Friday

     Guess what? It's the very first "Fitness Friday" ever! I promised I was going to "put my stuff out there" as one of my dear friends called it, so that others could have an example. I didn't tell you in my last post how I was going to score myself, but here it is...I am going to use a scale from 0-10 (0 being "the worst week ever" and 10 being "I rocked it this week"). Using the H.E.A.R.T. formula, the top score attainable is a 50.

     H is for "Him":  I read my Bible two days this week. I am also reading a book called "Radical" by David Platt and it does have scripture in it (not the same, but I thought I would throw it out there). I did have a chance this week to talk to a more mature Christian about some goals/plans that I have. I have scripture verses posted on my bathroom mirror that I read every morning and I was able to have quality prayer time 3 days this week. I'm going to give myself a 5 here.

     E is for exercise/eating healthy:  This is the hardest category for me by far. I did exercise 3 days this week and I am run/walking my first 5K tomorrow. However, I skipped boot camp all 3 days this week. I don't even want to talk about my eating this past week. I start out good, but by the end of the day I seem to let myself get sabotaged either by myself, my husband or some event (Breaking Dawn Premiere) that I can blame it on. I read a quote that said "You can't out exercise a bad diet". Hmmm...gonna give myself a 3 this week.

     A is for all in the family: I definitely feel like this one was where I "rocked it" this week. I was able to take my kids to their after school activities and actually watch them! I was able to read 4 out of 5 nights to the girls. I had some time to spend with Cooper just talking and joking. I even was able to meet a friend for breakfast and talk for 2 hours! I would say this category is lacking in the "quality time most nights with husband" category. We had been making it a priority to set aside time each night and just check in and talk (without kids). Lately, we have been getting slack in this area and I miss it and want to bring it back. Overall, I'm giving myself a 7 here.

     R is for reaching out to others: I would love to say that this category was a 10 each week, but sometimes it is hard for me to see where I actually helped someone or made a difference in my day to day walk. I do put a smile on my face and speak to others where ever I happen to be. At work, I try and let my patients know through words and touch that I care for them and want to help them. Can I count the blog? :) I think my friends would say that I am a person who reaches out to others, but what would my enemies say? Loving my enemies is part of reaching out too. Gonna improve this one. Score...6.


     T is for truthfulness and transparency: There was a time in my past when I felt like I had 2 separate lives. I had to be the fun, joking, crazy Kelly for some people, and the daughter of the most high God Kelly for other people. I no longer feel that way, and let me tell you, it is a relief! These 2 Kellys are not mutually exclusive...Jesus Girl Kelly is fun, loves to joke and yes, even act a little crazy at times. I've come a long way in letting people see the "real" me. Now what you see is really what you get. Score...8 (always room for improvement).

     I added my scores up and ended up with 29/50 or a 58%. In school I would have been devastated by this grade, but in life it is all about progress...not perfection. It was better than 50%...just sayin'! The journey is just beginning.
Peace and Blessings...

Check This Out!!

     I am trying to have more consistency in my blog posts. We only have one computer in our house and it seems like the only time I want to get on it, someone else is already there. I have an Iphone, but I just started being able to send emails from it. I cannot imagine writing a whole blog on something that small. I really think that Santa wants me to have an Ipad for blogging and other such activities, but Santa might be financially stretched this year. He will probably be happy that I have quit asking him for a taser every year.

      I am relatively new to the blogging world, but I wanted to start a "weekly feature" blog. I have seen people do "Wordless Wednesday" or "Weigh In Wednesday" on their own blogs and it gave me an idea. I am going to do a weekly blog called "Fitness Friday". Now, I am not going to tell you everything I did or didn't eat during the week or tell you how much weight I've lost, although that will play a small part. When I think about "fitness" as it applies to my whole life and person, there is more to it than working out and not eating fast food. I want fitness to extend to physical, mental and spiritual health. Fitness is defined as the quality of being suitable to fill a particular role or task. What are my roles? 1.Daughter of the Most High God, 2.Wife, 3. Mother, 4. Friend....each one of these roles has other roles inside of it. I came up with an acronym that I feel helps me gauge how I have been doing on my weekly journey to fulfill these roles and become a more disciplined person.

     I am going to do what I will be calling a "H.E.A.R.T. check". H stands for "Him"...did I spend time each day praying, reading my Bible, worshiping or listening to Him? E stands for "exercise and eating healthy"...this one is pretty self explanatory. A stands for "all in the family"....did I spend quality time with my husband, children and close friends? R stands for "reaching out to others"....did I do anything this week to help out someone in need? How did I represent Christ to the world?  T stands for "truthfulness and transparency"...was I genuinely myself and let others see the real me? These things will be subjectively graded by me of course. I will try to be as objective as possible, lol. I do know that we grade ourselves more harshly that we do anyone else. I've said things in my mind to myself that I wouldn't dream saying to another person. I'm not doing this to say "look at me I am a fabulous person" or if I have a bad week to have people build me up with compliments. This is just for me to have an extra measure of accountability that I can look back at from week to week and see how far I have come in my journey. I would love to have others come along with me. I picked specific things that I need to work on, but they can be tweaked or adjusted to fit anyone's specific needs. There is strength in numbers, and as women I think this is especially true. That's why we don't go to the bathroom alone...you never know when you might need a friend!

     The Bible also tells us that it is important to never be alone. We know that God is always with us, but having believers disciple us and encourage us along the way is important as well. I would love to hear the blog world's thoughts about "Fitness Friday"!
Acts 2:42 says..."They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer."
Come along and fellowship, pray and break bread with me on this journey.

What are YOU waiting for?

     Have you ever felt deep down that you should do something, but didn't want to? I have thought of many blog topics over the past few weeks that I wanted to write, but something kept me from writing them. I've had the opportunity (when the kids are in school) and the material (went on an awesome Christian weekend recently), but I literally couldn't write those things. Finally, I was sitting in church and it hit me. My pastor was talking about how he woke up in the wee hours of the morning and was prompted to pray...for revival. But the prompting wasn't just for any revival....it was for revival to start with him. It was personal. Ouch. That's just how I felt when I was listening. Duh...He wants me to write about what is weighing me down or what is keeping me from personally being revived. 


     I have done so much backsliding lately that it's not even funny. I've been eating exactly what I want and not feeling guilty. There was one week I skipped boot camp....bad idea. I have gained a few pebbles (please refer back to the "Let's Get Stoned" blog post). My car is cluttered. My house is cluttered. And daily Bible reading...fuhgedaboutit! This blog was supposed to be an extra measure of accountability for me. But I haven't felt like writing the truth lately. You know why? The truth hurts! 


     This is what the Bible says about our bodies..."Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Cor. 6:19-20)  My body is a temple that was bought at a price. The highest price imaginable, with the blood of Jesus. Not only that...guess who lives there?? The Holy Spirit. My point is, I am not honoring God with my body. I don't just mean food either, though that is a big part of it. I go out to eat when I shouldn't be spending the money. I buy things I don't really need. I skip exercising, scripture reading, cleaning. I don't get enough sleep. I have let my pride get in the way of witnessing to people or helping people. I have been jealous of people, things and relationships. I have held on to small bits of resentment that I have let fester. As doubt crept into my mind, it has shown itself on my outer body. Now, I know He's got my back no matter what...but shouldn't I have His? Listen to this verse from 1Timothy 4:7b "Exercise daily in God- no spiritual flabbiness, please!" I think I am going to post this on my bathroom mirror so I can see it every morning. 


     I also realized that I haven't been trusting God like I should. I say that I trust Him. I know that I trust Him up to a certain extent. But He wants ALL of me...all of my trust. After we worked out at boot camp Monday, we had a devotion. It was about not only trusting Him, but obeying Him. Remember the old hymn, "Trust and Obey"? They go together, like peas and carrots, or brownies and milk. If I say that I trust Him, I will obey Him. It's that simple. What isn't that simple is putting aside my human fears and insecurities. But I can...with His help. I want to be "all in" for Jesus. Sold out. I want to believe that I can walk on the water too. 


When you take that first step into the unknown, you know that he won't let you go. So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? Your insecurities try to alter you. You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move. Your faith is all it takes and you can walk on the water too. 
--Britt Nicole

Humbled, Convicted....and Grateful!

Have you ever had "one of those" mornings? I got out of bed, started getting my children up and in the shower, gathering up their things and their clothes for the day. Thankfully, my husband had made some coffee! For some reason, the girls like to get out of the shower, wrap a towel around them and come and complain to me about how cold they are. Meanwhile, I'm wondering why they don't dry themselves off and tell them so. Then the whining starts. They know they have to brush their hair and teeth EVERY morning. This is non-negotiable! My son, for the most part, is self sufficient, thank you Jesus! The girls notice the clothes I have put out and for some reason, they don't want to wear them. At this point, one of two things happen, I either tell them to wear them and quit complaining, or they go to their rooms and pick out something more acceptable to them. Cooper is now in the kitchen and asking what has happened to his poetry he composed last night. Poetry? What poetry? The two girls are now asking for breakfast....usually they want a corn dog or ice cream or some such healthy meal. Now my husband is out of the shower and is putting his two cents into the mix. I maintain my calm demeanor and get the girls some cereal, find the poetry and manage to get them all out of the door. Whew!

I now decide to listen to the messages on my answering machine that I did not listen to last night. The first one is a reminder that I have a doctor's appointment TODAY at 9am. Hmm...it is now 7:30 and I have to be in Tallahassee by 9. So...I jump up and run to the shower, throw on some clothes and makeup, grab my coffee (now cold) and head out the door. I am NOT in a good mood. I am cranky and ungrateful. I am wondering what God was thinking when he let ME get married and have THREE children. The list continues in my mind....why can't I have more money...more help around the house...why can't my children mind all of the time??? This ungratefulness in my heart continues to spew out of me until I get back in my car following my doctor visit. I decide to check my email using my phone. An email pops up that looks like one of "those" chain emails titled "In God's Hands". I click on it anyway and I proceed to read an email that brings me to my knees. Literally. It's forwarded from a man whose wife has been very sick and is now close to death. He is struggling with dealing with these last days and is asking for prayer...for peace...for understanding. I feel something twist in my chest and am immediately convicted. Who am I that I am so ungrateful for all of my undeserved blessings that the one who made me has poured out? I am ungrateful. I am convicted. I am humbled. The tears began to fall and I prayed for this man and his family right then. I also immediately asked God to forgive my ungrateful heart. When I was done praying, I began to think how silly I had been in the first place. I woke up in an air conditioned house in America. I have food in my pantry and refrigerator. I have 3 gorgeous and healthy children. I have a husband who loves me and makes me coffee (bonus). I have running water that is heated, clothes to wear, a car to drive and an iphone that lets me check my email to name a few!! I could literally fill up books with all of the things I am grateful for.

I recently completed a gratitude list and I highly recommend it. It helps to focus on a few things and people for which you are especially grateful. After you complete your list, read it back to yourself and then tell the people you listed how grateful you are for them! You can include why you are thankful for your husband, children, family, job, friends, church, school, or anything else you can think of! I think I will start doing this on a regular basis just to remind myself of all of my blessings that He continues to give to me. I am convicted...humbled...and now extremely grateful.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Can Rocks Cry Out?

Have you ever thought about what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus? I think about it sometimes on a daily basis. I love to help people, thus my chosen profession...nursing. I love to see people do what even they don't think they can accomplish. I can convey encouragement and compassion simply by touching my patient in a caring and loving manner. I hold hands (sometimes feet), wipe tears, sweat (and other bodily fluids I won't mention here), I give hugs and rub backs....and that's just taking care of the doctors. Just kidding!! I find that it is a lot easier sometimes to "talk" to others through action as opposed to words. I also know that actions speak louder than words. But, I think that we also need to use words along with actions to deliver the full effect that is intended. 


The fact is that I love Jesus. I am a Christian. He has given me infinitely more gifts and blessings than I can ever deserve and continues to do so. He has held my hand and lifted me out of pits of despair. But when it comes time to speak aloud of these things and "witness" to others with my voice, I find myself hanging back. I let doubt creep in. I don't want people to judge me harshly, to think I'm a hypocrite (I AM, by the way), to reject me or make fun of me. But, what is more important? What people think or what Jesus thinks? I know that I focus too much on this world, but we were made for something more. I don't know who this quote originated with, but it sums it up..."We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, but spiritual beings having human experiences".  Think about it. What if our life here on earth is just a snapshot in our spiritual eternity? Sometimes I long for the things of this world to fill me up. Sometimes my filler is food, sometimes other people, sometimes attention or praise. The full feeling is always temporary. I heard a Christian speaker say that we "ache for Heaven". I wonder if that is why we long for "things" to comfort us...because we are aching for eternity. Is this what we were made for? To long for Heaven? For God? 


I love the song "Made to Worship" by Chris Tomlin. One part says "and even the rocks cry out, and even the Heavens shout, at the sound of His holy name". We were made to worship the one who created us.When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, His followers were crying out and praising Him in front of everyone! The Pharisees didn't like this and told Jesus to make them be quiet. This is when Jesus said "I tell you, He replied, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out". If we don't spread the Good News and tell of his wonderful love like we are called to do, the rocks will do it for us! I want to be bold. I want to show and tell others through my deeds and my words. I don't want the rocks to have to speak for me. They can be quiet this time...I will speak.  
  

Are You Living the Salt Life?



If you live near the coast, at least in my neck of the woods, you see this logo on a regular basis. I see it on the back windshield of a car sometimes daily. I am a salt lover, I will admit. I add salt to my food sometimes before I even taste it. I even put salt on my salad. When I was in college, a friend gave me one of those hamster "salt licks" for a birthday present. Yes, it was a gag gift, but I actually "used" it a couple of times. I finally got rid of it, because it just wasn't practical to break out a "salt lick wheel" when I had a craving. I'm pretty sure it made me look a little unstable.

As I sat in the elementary school pick up line yesterday, I started thinking how living the "Salt Life" could apply to living a Christian life or a more disciplined life. Have you ever looked up "salt" in the Bible? There are a lot of verses dealing with this word. Many times, especially recently, I have eliminated certain foods from my diet. Soda, chocolate, sugar...all of these things are great and I would not want to live forever without them, but they are not necessary for survival. Salt, however, is necessary for our bodies to function properly. When we don't have enough salt in our bodies, we become unbalanced and don't heal easily. It helps to transmit messages in the nervous system. Salt is also used as a preservative to keep food from spoiling. It was used before modern medicine to help heal wounds or to purify water. Salt when used in food serves to season it, to bring out the best in the taste of the food or to blend certain foods together. For all of these reasons, Jesus called His followers "the salt of the earth".

Guess what else salt does? It makes you THIRSTY. It makes you long for something. When you see someone who is "salty", do you long for what they have? To me, these people seem satisfied with their life. They possess true joy. They don't have to seek validation from the outside world. Other people in general are attracted to these people because they see something in them that they want to have as well. Did I just describe you? As Christians, that is what Jesus challenged us to do. We are supposed to preserve, freshen and sweeten the world with His word and to help heal His people with our deeds and actions. Most of the time I feel like Mrs. Dash...very flavorful, but not truly, genuinely salt. My goal is to surround myself with salty people so that they can season me and I can learn to season others. Jesus put us here to season the world with our presence, our words and our actions. As my thirst increases, I long to make others thirsty as well.

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. ---Colossians 4:6