What are you full of?

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” C.S. Lewis


I love this quote. This earthly life is temporary. But while we are here, we are made to want..to seek. But what are we seeking? Ultimately we all are seeking to be loved...and to be loved unconditionally by the One who made us. Agape love, selfless and spiritual...the kind of love demonstrated through Jesus and His life. It expects nothing in return. 


My dilemma is this...how do I keep myself from getting filled with all of the stuff of the world? The stuff that my flesh wants me to be filled with? Or even stuff of the world that I don't necessarily want, but let get inside me anyway? I hear gossip about a friend....stuff it down...my husband makes me mad...stuff it down...disappointed by family...stuff it down...hear a comment that someone doesn't like me...stuff it down. It doesn't take long to be filled with this junk! Now what? Once filled with this stuff I now feel...empty. Like there is a huge hole inside me. My favorite thing to fill it with has been food. Food not your thing? Maybe it is alcohol, anger, sex, exercise, drugs, work, ambition or shopping. The problem with putting something else on top of the junk means that the junk doesn't leave. The junk remains. Now how can we be filled with Him? With love? Is there room?


At one point in my life, I was so full of junk that I didn't think I would ever get it out. But guess what? I did get rid of a lot of it and so can you. In order for me to do this, I had to talk about it. I had to trust someone. Over time, I had to trust more than one someone. I had to make myself vulnerable and I hate that. But you know what? What I WAS doing definitely wasn't working for me. I found people, accountability partners, that were willing to listen to me talk about anything I wanted and still love me. Are these people perfect? No. Do I still get hurt? Of course. But the benefits are so awesome. The junk moves out and makes it easier for Him to move in. And when He moves in...WOW. With His love in me I can love others so much easier. I can love myself more freely. I wish I could tell you that this is how I am all of the time, but I am made of flesh. What I can tell you is that being self aware and knowing what I am full of has made it easier for me to be filled with His love. I am better than I used to be. And THAT is a great place to be right now. 


What are YOU full of?


"Empty me of the selfishness inside, every vain ambition and the poison of my pride....and any foolish thing my heart holds to. Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You." --Empty Me by Chris Sligh 

Auld Lang Syne

It's New Year's Eve and tomorrow will be a day of new beginnings. It's a new year and people generally use this to make a new start with any number of things...weight loss, spending more time with family, exercise goals, reading goals, ending bad habits. But what about tonight? I remember growing up and hearing the song "1999" by Prince (or whatever his name is now) and thinking....how AWESOME is it going to be when that happens?!? When the time came it was fun don't get me wrong, but the build up did not lead up to how it "was supposed to be". Isn't that what makes us unhappy the majority of the time? The fact that we have expectations and then real life doesn't meet them? I'm not saying it NEVER happens, but most of  the time (my life anyway) it's a journey with bumps, crossroads, mountain tops and valleys. How we deal with these "changes" has a little something to do with our perspective.

I know most of you have heard the song "Auld Lang Syne" that many people sing on New Year's Eve. I grew up spending most new year's at my grandmother's house with her and my 3 aunts. They would always sing this song and I knew the words, but had no clue what they meant. Literally translated they mean "old long since". Another translation is "times gone by". Basically what this means to me is that I shouldn't forget my past; I should learn from it.When I learn from the past, new growth is possible. I glance back to glean information and understanding from what has occurred, and then I move forward with the understanding that God has a plan for my life and it is a good plan. No. An awesome plan! I don't know all of the answers, but I know the One who has them. It is VERY HARD to trust sometimes. After all, I'm not perfect and never will be this side of Glory. But when I trust in Him and have the right perspective I have HOPE for my future.

I'm going to put my New Year's Resolutions out there.

1. Do No Harm

2. Do Good

3. Stay in Love With God

These are not original. I was first introduced to them when a friend so thoughtfully sent me a copy of a book called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living. I think these principles can be applied to any life and help make the world a better place for us all. These 3 things are SOOO simple you say...I can do these things without trying. Hold on. Slow down. Over the next few weeks I am going to expound on these three resolutions so that you know exactly what my goals are and how to help me be accountable for meeting them. This new year IS a time for new growth, new birth, new attitude, new EVERYTHING! God can make a way where there seems to be no way. He can make water spring forth in the desert. He can turn water into wine, make the blind see, raise the dead. He can bring hope where there was none. See you all in the new year! 

P.S. Fitness Friday will make a come back every other week in the new year. :)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"   2Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Check This Out!!

     I am trying to have more consistency in my blog posts. We only have one computer in our house and it seems like the only time I want to get on it, someone else is already there. I have an Iphone, but I just started being able to send emails from it. I cannot imagine writing a whole blog on something that small. I really think that Santa wants me to have an Ipad for blogging and other such activities, but Santa might be financially stretched this year. He will probably be happy that I have quit asking him for a taser every year.

      I am relatively new to the blogging world, but I wanted to start a "weekly feature" blog. I have seen people do "Wordless Wednesday" or "Weigh In Wednesday" on their own blogs and it gave me an idea. I am going to do a weekly blog called "Fitness Friday". Now, I am not going to tell you everything I did or didn't eat during the week or tell you how much weight I've lost, although that will play a small part. When I think about "fitness" as it applies to my whole life and person, there is more to it than working out and not eating fast food. I want fitness to extend to physical, mental and spiritual health. Fitness is defined as the quality of being suitable to fill a particular role or task. What are my roles? 1.Daughter of the Most High God, 2.Wife, 3. Mother, 4. Friend....each one of these roles has other roles inside of it. I came up with an acronym that I feel helps me gauge how I have been doing on my weekly journey to fulfill these roles and become a more disciplined person.

     I am going to do what I will be calling a "H.E.A.R.T. check". H stands for "Him"...did I spend time each day praying, reading my Bible, worshiping or listening to Him? E stands for "exercise and eating healthy"...this one is pretty self explanatory. A stands for "all in the family"....did I spend quality time with my husband, children and close friends? R stands for "reaching out to others"....did I do anything this week to help out someone in need? How did I represent Christ to the world?  T stands for "truthfulness and transparency"...was I genuinely myself and let others see the real me? These things will be subjectively graded by me of course. I will try to be as objective as possible, lol. I do know that we grade ourselves more harshly that we do anyone else. I've said things in my mind to myself that I wouldn't dream saying to another person. I'm not doing this to say "look at me I am a fabulous person" or if I have a bad week to have people build me up with compliments. This is just for me to have an extra measure of accountability that I can look back at from week to week and see how far I have come in my journey. I would love to have others come along with me. I picked specific things that I need to work on, but they can be tweaked or adjusted to fit anyone's specific needs. There is strength in numbers, and as women I think this is especially true. That's why we don't go to the bathroom alone...you never know when you might need a friend!

     The Bible also tells us that it is important to never be alone. We know that God is always with us, but having believers disciple us and encourage us along the way is important as well. I would love to hear the blog world's thoughts about "Fitness Friday"!
Acts 2:42 says..."They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer."
Come along and fellowship, pray and break bread with me on this journey.

Where Does My Help Come From?

I'm back! These past few weeks have been very busy for our family. We had graduation from elementary school, graduation from Pre-K, dance recital with all of it's practices and performances and now VBS this week. Throw in the fact that my husband was gone one week to a conference and mix it up with work, laundry, cleaning and all of the other daily activities and you have the perfect recipe for chaos! I haven't been sticking to my diet and exercise routine as much as I should have. I haven't gained any weight back; I just haven't lost any more. Have you ever heard anybody say, "If I had her/his willpower, I could...be skinny, stay on my diet, stay focused, etc?" Growing up, I would often think that I just didn't have any willpower. Food was (and sometimes still is) my comfort and my friend, if only for a brief moment. I could stick to a diet for a while, but I would always give in to whatever the temptation might be. After I had "cheated" on my diet, I would usually rationalize that I could now eat freely, because the damage was done. Have any of you ever felt like this, or is it just me? I'm getting ready to take on COGI bootcamp starting June 20th at 5:30 a.m. I'm apprehensive about being in front of people and not being able to do the workout, looking stupid, failing, etc. But the "new" me is stepping out in faith and ready for action. Want to know where I get my help from?

Willpower is defined in the dictionary as the strength of will to carry out one's decisions, wishes or plans. Don't get me wrong, using this definition for willpower has carried me through a lot of hard times and situations. But in the end, I always felt lacking. There was a conviction there, but I was only accountable to me and I was only too willing to let myself off of the hook numerous times. Been there, done that. It has been proven time and again that having a partner or someone to share the journey with you increases your chances of success. Someone else holding you accountable bolsters the strength of your will. The Bible tells us this in Ecclesiastes 4:10: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other in need".

Recently, I have totally changed the way I look at willpower. My new and much improved definition is this...the willingness to accept God's power for my life. I read this definition in a book by John Baker, one of the founders of Celebrate Recovery. Immediately something inside of me clicked. It was as if a light bulb literally went off in my head. Who's power is better? Mine or His? Who's will for my life is always best? HIS! He is willing to guide me through anything. All I have to do is turn it over to Him and have a willingness to do what He says is best for me. While my willpower sometimes wanes, His never grows weak. He is the ultimate accountability partner. I used to think that praying about overeating was silly and a waste of time. But, guess what? Jesus wants an intimate relationship with you and me! He wants to know what we struggle with and think about on a daily basis. He wants to know each of our innermost desires and needs. Look at what He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest". This means we do not have to "carry the load" on our own. Jesus is waiting....are you willing?