Skimming the Surface

As a child, I had 3 aunts and a grandmother that liked to go fishing. I would sometimes go with them and my favorite thing to do was watch the bugs that looked like they were "skating" on top of the pond water. They are called "skimmer bugs" and they are light enough to just skim the surface without going into the actual water. This week I was reading about the relationship that our Heavenly Father wants to have with us as His children. I think that for most of my life, my relationship with God was like those bugs skimming superficially along on the water. I wanted Him at arms length. Sure, I prayed. But most of my prayers were shallow ones....God, please help me on this test (even though I didn't study)....please let this boy love me (even though I don't love myself)...please protect my friends and family (don't have time to get them all in by name or specific need). Who did I think I was kidding by keeping my innermost desires and plans from Him? He KNOWS me. He knows me better than my family, my husband or my best friend. In Psalm 139 it says that "Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely". My Heavenly Father made me and created my inmost being. He knew me in my mother's womb. He is familiar with ALL of my ways. Wait....ALL of my ways?

Growing up, I saw God as punitive. I thought that if I was bad, he wouldn't love me and would punish me,  and if I was good, then He would love me and my life would work out exactly as I wanted it to. I am a people pleaser, so this concept came naturally to me. I tried to follow all of the rules. I attended church weekly, minded my parents, didn't drink or cuss (hard to believe, I know) and made all A's. Know what? I still didn't feel like God loved me, nor did I have a personal connection with Him. I felt like I was always disappointing Him and letting Him down. The missing key was a relationship. A real relationship...one that goes down deep into my inmost being. God wants to hear about my day, the good and the bad. He wants me to talk to Him about hurts, triumphs, dreams, goals, failures...ALL of it. Think about the relationships you have with people. If all you do is talk to them about superficial things, your relationship with them will remain on the surface. All it took for my relationship with God to go deep was a seed that was planted in me by another person. I received a letter that said..."God loves you just the way you are. Nothing you can do will make God love you any more or any less." Whaaaat? I can't earn His love?? I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but seeing this statement in black and white gave me a truth to hold onto. God loves me. He always has, and always will. I am a daughter of the most high God. By holding onto His love and learning to receive love from others, our relationship continues to grow deeper and has taken root in all areas of my life.

Guess what happened as a side effect? I learned that I am not alone! Not only is God with me and for me, but He has some followers that love me too! I mean really love me. I've learned what agape love feels like and looks like. I've learned to let people know the real me and sometimes I am not easy to love. I've learned to form deeper relationships with my friends and family. I've learned that perfection is impossible for me, but He loves me anyway. Once we have our identity in Christ, we can share our story with other people and build relationships that draw people closer to Him. When I truly received His love for me, it changed me. I really am a new creation. I want to tell others about this unconditional love of the Father. I want to show people that they are worthy, accepted and loved. I recently read a book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller. This quote stood out to me..."I think the most important thing that happens in Christian spirituality is when a person falls in love with Jesus". I  have to wholeheartedly agree with a big grin on my face. No more skimming the surface...I'm going deep.

Hate the sin...not the sinner?

     This week I read a blog titled “I’m a Christian…unless you’re gay” and I started thinking about how, when and why Christians (and more importantly ME) show love to others. Have you ever felt judged by others? Now, I know we all judge people, it is human nature and part of our fleshly make up….but does it have to be that way? People are judged for the color of their skin, the way they talk, the way they dress, their sexual orientation, their weight, their income….see what I mean? Society labels us…fat, poor, addict, ugly, worthless, trashy, rich, slutty, stuck up. Some of these things we can change and some of these things we cannot. I have learned that if someone looks or acts different, they are not better or worse than me or anybody else…they are just different. That person is God’s creation…just like I am. He loves each of us because we are His.

     Most of us know that Jesus outlined the 2 most important commandments to all who follow Him. The first is to love God with all of your heart, mind and soul. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Who are my neighbors? They are illegal immigrants, homosexuals, unmarried mothers with 3 kids by 3 different fathers, alcoholics….or the person sitting next to you in church that would “NEVER” do anything wrong.  Some of these people are not necessarily easy to love. Trust me…I know. But I also know that I am not easy to love either. I am flesh. Human. Sinful.

     Now, what about the phrase…”Hate the sin, love the sinner”? I think that this phrase is often used as a cover up for bigotry. People use it as an excuse to not have to love those people who are different from them. Is it Biblical? Well, we already covered what Jesus wants us to do. The Bible also tells us to flee from sin. Who’s sin are we fleeing from? I think that He wants us to flee from OUR sin. To hate OUR sin. In Romans 12:9 the author tells us to “Hate what is wrong”. There is that “hate” word again. But, let’s look at the first part of that verse…”Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.” (New Living Translation) I am not a theologian and certainly do not profess to know a lot about the Bible. But what I do know is that if I spend my time hating MY OWN sin, I won’t have much time to hate, judge or look down on other people.

     Genuine love requires concentration and effort. It isn’t easy, but I have found that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. For me to show Biblical love requires me to look at myself…to uncover my sin…to confess it and ask for forgiveness that is undeserved. Am I worth it? He thinks so. Is the homeless alcoholic ex-con worth it? He thinks so.

 If you are interested in reading the blog post in the first paragraph, go to danoah.org.